Some of my whining is totally legitimate. I mean I do still have some major hormonal imbalance going on, I haven't slept properly since 2011, and I am still adjusting to the chaos that is now my life with three munchkins. Oh, and I don't live near family. And my husband doesn't get home from work until 6:30pm. And no matter how many times I go to the grocery store we just keep running out of food. And the dishes. And the laundry, oh the laundry.
See what I mean? Wah wah wah. Whine, whine, whine.
Unfortunately for me, my husband doesn't really believe in whining. To make matters worse, he works with a segment of the population that actually has something to whine about, so my stay-at-home-mom woes probably seem ridiculous to him. Not that he says so. The thing is, whining makes me feel a bit better sometimes. When I whine I get it all out and that helps me let it go. If I whine (especially on Facebook) people will encourage me, validate how I'm feeling, give me a pep-talk, or take me by the shoulders and shake some sense back into me. Struggling in silence doesn't make sense to me. Whining allows for relationship and community and connection. Sometimes whining is simply being honest and keeping it real. Pollyanna can be annoying.
But.
I also think it is important to whine with some perspective. I think it is essential that in my whining I don't forget that I am whining about MAJOR blessings and privileges in my life. Like 3 kids, oh my goodness, what a gift. To think that the thing I spent years of my life worrying about (having babies and losing babies) is now my source of stress (3 kids ages 5 and under, good heavens!). And then there is the laundry and the dishes. Um, I have a dishwasher and washing machine! You see my point.
So I bet you are wondering where Michael J Fox fits in here. Well, last week I had a particularly whiny day and at some point during that day I started to think about something Michael J Fox said.
When my sister Katie was visiting we were watching Ellen one day and she had Michael J Fox as a guest. Being an Alex P Keaton loving child of the 80s I hung on his every word. Back to the Future aside, this guy is a pretty phenomenal human being. Here is someone who has been living with Parkinson's for 21 years talking about how "lucky" he is in life.Michael J Fox told a story about a woman in Mozambique who was swept away in a terrible flood while in labor. This woman climbed a tree to safety and ended up giving birth to her baby...in a tree. Mom and baby were rescued from the tree and survived. Aside from the general amazingness of this story, it was how Fox uses the story in his own family that I will never forget.
When Michael J Fox's teenage girls complain, he looks at them and he says...A lady had a baby in a tree.
A lady had a baby in a tree. Perspective. And let us not forget that that lady lives in Mozambique.
Dinner is on the stove, my 5 year old has been talking continuously for 40 minutes, my 2 year old just peed on the floor, and the baby is crying. A lady had a baby in a tree.
My husband left for work at 6am and won't be home til 6pm, he has small group tonight, I've been home with all three kids all day, two of whom are sick. A lady had a baby in a tree.
I can't have dairy while I'm nursing, I can't seem to even start losing this baby weight, and I can't find the time or energy to exercise. A lady had a baby in a tree.
Keeping perspective can be hard when I am sleep-deprived. Whining can be easier. But no matter what feels hard and challenging to me in my day, sometimes I just need to keep in mind that... a lady had a baby in a tree. Thanks for that kick in the pants Michael J Fox.
Click here to see Ellen's interview with Michael J Fox.
