I got a lot of good advice on Facebook. I prepped Sam for what the experience would be like. I bribed her...like crazy. I spoke of the Jamba Juice we would drink, and the new Strawberry Shortcake and Hello Kitty shows we would watch when we returned home successful and triumphant.
Things were looking good at first. She started the morning totally upbeat. The appointment was strategically scheduled for 8am so Daddy could be there. Sam marched in strongly, picked out her movie (Tangled, of course), and laid on the seat. Then the really sweet assistant got the nose piece for the magic gas...AND SAM TOTALLY LOST IT. There was screaming, the flowing tears, sitting straight up and refusing to wear the nose piece, coaxing, more bribing, hygienists shutting the door so Sam wouldn't scare the other kids. We are just at the gas part remember? Things weren't looking good anymore.Then Dr. D came in. He assessed the situation. And he asked to talk to me in the hallway. It kind of felt like I was in trouble. He kindly and gently (yet very authoritatively) told me that it would probably be best if Mom, Dad, and baby sister exited the room and let them handle Sam on their own. We were being kicked out, plain and simple.
Chris and Abby left, and then Dr. D basically told the little frantic patient (quite sternly) that if she didn't stop crying and fussing I would have to leave, but if she could lay nice and still then Mom could stay. Ouch. So much for TLC. But he was spot on. Sam has always responded well to strength, and strength worked this time too. She calmed down, breathed in, watched her movie, and in 30 minutes or so the deed was done. It wasn't pretty, but we survived.
In addition to a child with a filling, this rookie parent walked out of the dentist office having received a big lesson in letting go. I tried to control the situation by over-explaining what would happen to Sam, but the assistant basically told me it is better to let the professionals do the talking so as not to make too big of a deal about the whole thing. Oops. Judging by the abject failure of my prep work, I think she was right. I needed to let go of trying to perfectly prepare, and thus try to control, the experience for my child.
I also realized that in order for capable professionals to do their job of helping my child I needed to shut up and simply hold a hand. I got to stay in the room today, but I'm sure there will be future experiences with my children where it is actually better if I am not there. Imagine that. Letting go is a hard lesson to learn, but we are raising our children in order to release them into the world one day, not to hold them close forever, so it was an important lesson to learn too. And apparently I need a lot more practice.
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| Jamba Juice and a crooked smile. |
