A Tribute to GG

My Grandma Gwen passed away 11 days ago.  I spoke at her memorial service, but there was so much more I could have said.  So I will take this opportunity to do just that.

Gwendolyn Judge
Born September 14, 1931 in Liverpool, England
(the fifth of ten children)
Died August 8, 2011 in Princeton, West Virginia
Wife to 1.
Mother of 3.
Grandmother of 10.
Great-grandmother of 5.

Preceded in death by the love of her life, Grandpa Jim, her special grandson Nathan, and her great-grandson Benjamin

We grew up calling her Grandma Gwen, but when great-grandchildren came into the picture she shortened her own name to GG.  She never liked her first name (weird!) so I think this was her attempt to get rid of it.  Oh, Grandma.

For as long as I can remember I have taken great pride in my Grandma's history. Remember that opening scene in The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe?  The part where the children of WWII are running for cover, hiding in bomb shelters, and being shipped off to the English countryside for protection.  That was her childhood.  Only instead of stepping through a wardrobe, 17 year old Gwendolyn got on a boat and headed for America.  All by herself.  The only one in her family to do so. GG was a strong, brave, and independent woman.

Grandma purposely lost her British accent when she started a new life in America, a decision my sisters and I have always regretted on her behalf. Wouldn't that have been so fun to have a Grandma with a British accent!?! Think Mrs. Teapot, Judy Dench, Helen Mirren etc.  Well, what she lacked in British speech patterns she made up for in British sense of humor.  What is British humor?  Think slapstick, people falling, anything a little inappropriate.  Think The Office...the original British series.  Some of my fondest memories with my Grandma were watching her laugh to tears watching movies like Robin Hood Men In Tights (Mel Brooks) or Young Frankenstein (Mel Brooks again).  I am happy to say that she passed on her slightly off-color sense of humor to her son (my father), my sisters, and me.

Some other facts about my Grandma:  she made AMAZING spaghetti; she was a really good golfer (although it doesn't seem she passed this gift on to any of her offspring); she was an incredibly beautiful and classy woman; she was entertainingly frugal; she was stubborn; she had a screaming yelp of a laugh which has been passed on to at least three of her grandchildren - me included; she had a MAJOR sweet tooth (I blame all my fillings on her); she was always sharp and very funny; she had a faith in Jesus that was private, but always there.

Although she never said this herself, I think one of her biggest sources of pride must have been what amazing parents her three children turned out to be.  Her two sons and one daughter are very different from each other, and went different directions after college, but one thing they all share is that they are remarkable parents. I am forever grateful that I get to be the daughter of GG's oldest son.  He is a phenomenal father. The devoted dads and mom that she raised give testimony to her mothering. 

Grandma was a complicated woman and had many little idiosyncrasies that I will not mention out of respect for her.  But isn't it funny that when people pass away it is those silly little things that are the most endearing.  I'm going to remind my husband of this fact.

Grandma was also married to a complicated man. A man she loved dearly and deeply.  It is her marriage that is one of her greatest legacies.  Grandma and Grandpa were married 52 years and it was a special kind of marriage.  Perhaps it was their own difficult pasts that made them cling so tightly to each other. As my Uncle Lucky so eloquently said at Grandma's memorial service, they were satisfied with just each other. Together they were enough. None of us could imagine Grandma carrying on without Grandpa, but as I mentioned, she is a strong woman, and she did carry on for almost 9 years.  Yet, even after he passed, she would continue to talk about my Grandpa like she was still a young woman in love.  Even when he was gone they were still a couple.

Grandma always loved well.  She loved her husband well.  She loved her children well.  And her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were no exception. Three of the last four years Grandma traveled on her own all the way from West Virginia for a little reunion in Illinois.  My sisters and I always made sure we would be there to simply BE with Grandma Gwen.  It was a delight to watch her love her great-grandchildren. Even though chronic health issues prevented her from keeping up with toddlers, she would always volunteer to hold, watch, or stay back with the babies.  She was amazing with our babies.

Perhaps the biggest impact Grandma Gwen had on me was her consistent communication of acceptance and encouragement. I always felt safe and secure with GG. I honestly have no memory of her being critical or judgemental.  Everyone should be so lucky to have a grandma that simply thinks you are wonderful. There is enough negativity and criticism in the world, and she did a great job of building up, not tearing down.  When I was going through a particularly challenging period with 2 year old Samantha and she could see I was exhausted and frustrated she would tell me I was doing a great job and that Samantha was a great kid.  And you know what...that was exactly what I needed.  What a privilege for me as a young vulnerable mother to receive her perspective and encouragement.

when I was catching up on email.  We used to email each other.  It felt really really strange that she wasn't there to write to anymore.  Her responses were always short and sweet, as were her phone calls, but it was so comforting to know she was there. And now she isn't.

Grandma's last words to me when we left her house in June were, "You keep bloggin' me, Em."  Cutest thing ever! She probably wouldn't have been thrilled to be included in my blog, as she detested the spotlight, but GG was a woman worth sharing about...and I'm glad I did.

Love you Grandma.