SAHM...that's me!

I have a really hard time articulating what I do.

In general, I do not have trouble saying what I want to say about things.  But when I am asked "what do you do?," especially by people I have just met, I freeze.  I over think and under-deliver.

I get paralyzed by the realization that I have just a few words or sentences to summarize my life, my passion, and my world.  I wish I had a good response, but I realize that no matter how perfectly or poorly I answer the "what do you do?" question, it is likely that I will be automatically relegated to a box...

The SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) box.
I hate that box.

That box is full of cooking, cleaning, laundry, runny noses, diapers, discipline, earning no money and spending lots.  Although I do those things, that is not what I do.  The SAHM box conjures images of a spotless home, an apron-clad female, well-dressed and well-behaved children.  Donna Reed I am not.  If it isn't the 1950s SAHM box, then maybe it is the 2011 frazzled-overcommitted-desperate housewives SAHM box...

Is that a cell phone or is she shooting up a distress signal?  You decide.

Why is there no good phrasing for what I do?  I feel like I can hear their responses before the words come out of my mouth.

I am a stay-at-home mom.  That's not a "real" job.
I am a full-time mom.  What mom isn't?  
I work at home taking care of my kids. That sounds cushy.  
I am the family manager.  Oh...she is a stay-at-home-mom.
I am a domestic engineer.  Cheesy. 

One reason I freeze is because I am very aware that some people think what I do isn't really "work." Let there be no mistake...I work.  I work hard.  If I didn't do my job then we would have to pay someone else (a lot of money!) to do it, which makes it very much a real job and real work.

And here is the thing... This is the most challenging job I have ever had.
This job is very much an outside-the-box kind of job.
There is no procedure manual for what I do.
No one else has ever worked with the people I work for.
This job is both monotonous and totally unpredictable.
This job is frustratingly thankless and unbelievably gratifying.
This job is hilariously entertaining and painfully boring.
This job is mentally, emotionally, and physically demanding.
A day at this job rarely goes how I plan for it to go.
This job does not pay and has no benefits, but it is the most rewarding job I have ever had.
This job does not have performance reviews, Christmas parties, or bonuses...I miss that stuff.
There is no such thing as leaving work at work with this job.

What I do is complicated.  It is as complicated as the person I am and the two people I care for.

I love what I do, I just don't have a good two-sentence answer for what I do, and I am starting to be o.k. with that.  As I said, it's complicated. I can deal with the SAHM box because at the end of the day I am happy about what I do - thrilled actually.

There are days I have cried because it is so hard.  There are days when a job that pays money and involves a desk and a quiet (or noisy) office sounds heavenly.  But there are never days where I would choose differently.

I keep two small human beings alive (and well!) every day.  Specifically these two nuts...

Maybe I will just start saying that...

I keep two small human beings alive and well...and knowing they are loved...every day.

And not just any two human beings - the ones God has entrusted to me.  Now that is a BIG job.

My disclaimer:  I understand and respect that every mother, and every family, makes the decision that is best for them regarding their jobs and children.  I understand and respect that many mothers work (by choice or not by choice) for financial or sanity reasons.  However you do it...keep on keepin' on mommas!