12 pictures for the 12 months of 2012

I love December 31st.

It is a day to reflect with gratitude on the year that was,
and be filled with anticipation for what the next year will hold.

Here are a few of the little moments from 2012.
What a year!

January

Our beach.

February

California snow.

March

Island getaway to Catalina.

April

Admiring God's creation.

May

That's our 2 year old.

June

Just another day at the office.

July

Our solution for losing our spare room to baby Hannah = this built-in desk/storage space in our bedroom.

August

A ticking time-bomb.

September

Enjoying the reward for 9 loooong months. 

October

Fall baking.

November

Fall hiking.

December

5 stockings this year (plus Bailey = 6).

Favorite Five: December

Let's be honest, my "favorite five" are pretty much always of my favorite people...my three munchkins.

Gingerbread house making.

Meeting our new little cousin/niece Elodie Brielle who flew in from France earlier this month.

This picture = showers for mom and dad.

Where's Abby?

LOVE this baby.

I'll be home for Christmas...after some fun in Santa Barbara

This was the first Christmas in our married life that we were in our own home, just us, on Christmas Day. 

It was really special to be home, in particular since it was our first Christmas as a family of five.

Here is a glimpse of our Christmas morning. 

Before.

Check out that morning hair.

After.

Leading up to Christmas we went to be with our CA Grandparents in Santa Barbara for 4 days.

We also celebrated Christmas Eve with our much loved cousins. 

Visiting the Sea Center on the pier.

Sewing project with Grandma.

Grandpa and Hannah bonding.

Christmas Eve dinner at Aunt Jen and Uncle Jeff's house.

I certainly counted and cherished my blessings more than ever this year.

I hope that your Christmas was merry and bright as well.

This Christmas

This Christmas in particular I have been clinging to the words of my favorite Christmas song.

Tears falling...hearts breaking...peace instead of violence...healing.

That is why He came.

Welcome to our World

Chris Rice

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking

How we need to hear from God

You've been promised, we've been waiting

Welcome Holy Child

Welcome Holy Child

Hope that you don't mind our manger

How I wish we would have known

But long-awaited Holy Stranger

Make Yourself at home

Please make Yourself at home

Bring Your peace into our violence

Bid our hungry souls be filled

Word now breaking Heaven's silence

Welcome to our world

Welcome to our world

Fragile finger sent to heal us

Tender brow prepared for thorn

Tiny heart whose blood will save us

Unto us is born

Unto us is born

So wrap our injured flesh around You

Breathe our air and walk our sod

Rob our sin and make us holy

Perfect Son of God

Perfect Son of God

Welcome to our world

 Art from: http://stushieart.com/tag/nativity-art/

Tree time

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

4 years. Beauty from ashes.

December 8, 2008.  The day I delivered our 18 week baby boy in an ER. The day we held a little perfect body too immature to survive outside the womb that rejected him. The day we left a hospital empty handed and heartbroken, but certain that God was still God and God was still good.

When I think about our little Benjamin now, 4 years later, he is like an angel to me. He will always be part of our lives not because of his presence and his person, but because of the space that he created in our lives, the space that was once empty, but has now filled in with beauty.

Beauty like me realizing that my little family, but mostly my husband and my marriage needed to be my first priority.

Beauty like friendships that were forever changed because some brave people chose to walk with us through our grief. Friendships that mean so much more now because of that walk.

Beauty like my heart softening to a move.

Beauty like the house, the street, the school, the church, the community that make up our new beautiful life in CA.

Beauty like two little girls who would not have come into our lives in April 2010 and August 2012 if we had had a baby boy in May 2009 as we planned. To think.

Beauty like friendships that have grown out of a shared experience of sorrow and loss.

Beauty like the ability to understand and relate, if only a little bit, to the trials and heartache of others.

Sometimes we need empty spaces so that new things can fill in those spaces. Sometimes we need ashes so that beauty can enter in. Sometimes we need loss to receive new joys.

4 years later and the narcissus bulbs are about to bloom again in the backyard reminding me that things unseen can still live on.

Thank you little Benjamin for all you have taught me and all that shifted and entered our lives because of you.

              Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

Ice skates

I'm an extremely practical person, so when my darling 5 year old started asking for ice skates in early November I thought it was cute and hoped the request would fade away. It didn't. Ice skates in San Diego? Really? Nope. Not practical.

BUT THEN... when we were in Illinois for Thanksgiving we wandered into a resale shop in my hometown and there on the floor were a pair of PINK ice skates, size 12. The only ice skates in the store. I may be practical, but I know a sign when I see one, and this sign said "these are Samantha's skates". We bought her the skates as an early Christmas present (hope she remembers that Christmas morning). I think she would have slept with that box of skates if we had let her, and we had to convince her they would be safe in the suitcase and weren't an acceptable carry-on item on an airplane.

Late Sunday afternoon (not a practical time to go) we decided to do one of our Christmas traditions and go ice-skating in Coronado. We paid way too much money (also not practical) and made our little girl very happy. She was adorable. I have never seen such determination. She didn't want any help from me and I probably had to pick her up off the ice 50 times. The falls didn't phase her. Love that girl. And the practical side of me also loves that there are two more girls who will one day fit into size 12 pink skates.

Daddy, Abby, and Hannah watched from the side and Abby was such a good sport about it I decided to sneak her in and do a couple laps with her on Sam's skates. Talk about a work out for Mommy!

Who said anything about Christmas being practical anyway? 

An ice rink on the beach in San Diego sure isn't practical, but that is what makes it great!
'Tis the season for impractical fun and gift-giving.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Favorite Five: November

An afternoon hike in San Diego.

A drive around Papa and Mormor's yard.

A perk of having a Grandpa who is a MD...real Doctor tools for those stuffed animals.

Cutest Buzz ever.

The babies.

All is a gift

All is a gift.

C.S. Lewis writes about everything we experience in life, the joy and the pain and the beauty, being a gift.

A gift from a loving Father.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the gifts in our life, like the gift of family.

This Thanksgiving in Illinois was also a time to receive and enjoy the gift of time together as a family.

Even the pain I feel due to living so far from my family is a gift because that ache in my heart is from a deep love for these people I miss and long to see more. It is a gift to love people like that. 

Here is a glimpse of the gifts of Thanksgiving 2012...

The gift of watching the cousins together. 7 this time!

Movies, dance parties, hot tub time...these kids love each other.

The gift of new babies. 

Babies bundled up in the cold. Babies with the big cousins.

Even celebrating a completed dossier that will lead to a baby in China.

The gift of watching my children play.

Papa and Mormor have the BEST yard ever!

The gift of generations together.

The gift of memories, and bringing my children to those memories to make their own.

The gift of an outing to a great THE BEST city.

 From Zoo Lights at Lincoln Park, to wandering around downtown Wheaton. 

From a train ride in the suburbs, to a mini car ride around the house.

From Thankgiving dinner with 20, to the quiet moments between 2 or 3.

Thanksgiving was a time of gratefulness.

All is a gift, truly.