Date Your Wife...you should buy this book!

Chris and I have this friend named Justin Buzzard...and he wrote a book...and we think that's really cool.

The three of us were Communication Studies majors at Westmont College, Justin and I worked together on a ministry team, he was Chris' roommate Junior year, and most importantly, Justin was in our wedding and Chris was in his. Justin is a great guy, a gifted communicator, and he just started a church in San Jose.

Back to the point of this post.

If you had told us in college that Justin was going to write a book, we wouldn't have been surprised...and we probably would have predicted that it would be a book about dating or marriage...and we would have been right, it's a book about both.

Without further ado:

Admittedly I haven't read it yet, and neither has Chris, but that is because it just came out. Justin's new book is NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon (for $8.54). I am going to buy a few copies today! You should too. Read it for your own marriage and buy one for a friend. I'm buying it for my husband :)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 8, 2012

An Intensely Practical Guide for Husbands Looking to Strengthen, Save, or Spice up Their Marriage
Most men don’t know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they’ve forgotten how, or they’re trying but it just doesn’t seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important skill from a position of security in the gospel of grace. As a father of three boys and husband to a very happy wife, Justin offers guys a helping hand, good news, and wise counsel, along with:

• 100 practical ideas for how to date your wife
• Action steps at the end of each chapter
• Personal stories and real-life examples

All types of marriages—good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones—will experience a jumpstart as a result of hearing, believing, and living the message of Date Your Wife.

For a review of this book click here.

For more information/inspiration from Justin, check out his widely read blog.

And again, to buy his book just CLICK HERE.

Hello Summer!

You might think that summer is no big deal in San Diego because it always feels like summer here.

Well, you'd be wrong, for two reasons.

#1 It doesn't always feel like summer here. The weather is wonderful and very mild and pleasant most of the year, but it isn't exactly summer weather. For example, due to "May grey" and "June gloom" it has barely reached 70 degrees in the last couple months. This pregnant woman is NOT complaining - I'm loving the cool temps.

#2 Summer is a state of mind, so it is a big deal no matter what your local climate.

Aside from the fact that today is the official first day of summer, I know it is summer because...

Schools are finally out. Kids camps and Vacation Bible Schools have begun. 

Tourists are here. Beaches and pools are getting crowded. 

The days are long. The bedtimes are late. 

And in this house...

Alfresco dinners have begun.

The plums and peaches are ripe.

The backyard is full of life.

And these two are ready for lots of time together.
Until they are joined by one more in August.

 Welcome summer. We're glad you're here.

Fathers who reflect their Father

For my husband and my dad, probably the biggest compliment I could pay either of them is to say that they have qualities that reflect God the Father. And that, in and of itself, is a compliment to who they both are. They are men who aspire to reflect their heavenly Father.

In honor of Father's Day I have chosen 3 characteristics of the two most important dads in my life, characteristics that reflect God, the ultimate Father.

Chris.
6th Father's Day. Father of my children. The guy who became a dad when I gave birth.

faithful. to me. to our kids. to family. to friends. to work. to God.

relationship-centered. all about people. puts relationships over tasks. makes people feel loved.

fun. in the ocean. in the backyard. in the living room. always fun. (If you don't usually describe God as "fun" then you should visit a zoo, an aquarium, or a preschool. Creation reflects the Creator. He's fun.)

Dad. 
34th Father's Day. Father of 3 girls. The guy who became a dad when I was born.

source of strength. a solid rock for me and so many other people so many times.
supportive. in good times. in hard times. in times of change and decision. he is always for me.
creative. in writing. in gardening. in life choices. in playing with grandkids.

I am blessed beyond measure by these two dads.

Happy Father's Day!

Preschool promotion and the end of an era, well the end of 2 years anyway

Wednesday was Samantha's preschool promotion.

I appreciate that it was not a "graduation" because I think that word should be reserved for actual accomplishments like high school or college. I digress.

Preschool promotion was adorable. It had all the makings of an event designed to get parents to cry...individual sharing and performing by each student, group songs, a slide show complete with sappy music, certificates, art, general adorableness. I had to sing "The Mickey Mouse Club" in my head many times (a fool-proof trick my sister once taught me) to keep from totally losing it and giving in to emotions.

Here are a few highlights, including a 30 second video (mostly for the grandparents).

Not sure what is going on here, but the little certificate given to each child had a special nickname for them on it and Sam's name was "gentle spirit". Very sweet. 

Let the record show that age 4 has been largely about fairies.

See video for proof.

Ms Melissa and Ms Dora. We LOVED them both!

 The 3 amigos. Could definitely be trouble in Kindergarten next year.

I had a friend/sitter stay home with Abby so she could nap and I could actually be fully present for this big event. After school I surprised Sam and took her to see Madagascar 3. I hardly ever get one-on-one time with Sam anymore so this was a very special outing for us. We both ate way too much movie theater junk food, we both almost fell asleep during the show (OK, I actually did), and despite the fact that Madagascar 2 is one of our all-time favorites this movie was TERRIBLE. 

Oh well. It was still a precious memory.

I can't believe in about 8 weeks my baby will be going to Kindergarten.

I plan to enjoy these short weeks of summer with her to the full, despite being so pregnant.

Given how emotional I felt today I can only imagine what the first day of Kindergarten is going to be like, especially since I will be a hormonal mess with a newborn. It could be ugly. 

And I'm not sure if "The Mickey Mouse Club" will even help me come August 20th.

Allow a crazy pregnant woman this little rant

Disclaimer #1  I'm writing this because I think it will make me feel better.

Disclaimer #2  I absolutely know that pregnancy is a beautiful gift and I feel blessed to be able to make and carry babies. Yet, this knowledge doesn't always make pregnancy easier. Sometimes I am able to keep a good perspective on pregnancy. But not today.

I am 30 weeks pregnant and I am starting to lose it already. I have 7 to 10 weeks to go (please God, please, make it 7 or 8) and I worry about how much worse it is going to get.

Take yesterday. By 7:30am I had already attempted to put clean plates from the dishwasher away in the microwave, and brewed a hot pot of coffee without adding the coffee grounds (not the first time I've done this in the past month). And all of this was after a shower so I should have been a bit more awake.

Last week I drove away with the home phone on the back bumper of the car. I thought it was gone, until I got mail later that day and discovered that some kind neighbor must have seen the phone in the street and probably figured it belonged to the crazy pregnant lady and put it in our mailbox. Thanks for that.

It took me over 6 weeks to return a few forgotten items to my sister after her visit and I STILL haven't done 'Thank You' cards for my girls birthday gifts...from their party in early April (how embarrassing!).

And these are just examples of crazy things I am AWARE of doing...or not doing, as the case may be. 

I wake up 3-6 times a night. I wake up tired in the morning. I've cried 3-6 times in the last few days. I feel terrible about how I look and the 25 extra pounds I am already carrying. My body aches by 6pm. I wear sweats or yoga pants almost every day. I regularly feel overwhelmed about how on earth I am going to do 3 kids ages 5 and under. I constantly battle guilt about my mothering. I feel. I feel. I feel. I drop balls. I use an old person's tool to pick up toys. And I never forget that at the end of these blessed 9 months (although it is really 10 months!) I still have to endure bringing this baby into the world and then look forward to a year of trying to lose weight and gain sleep.

Wah. Wah. Wah.

Yesterday my sensitive and intuitive little 5 year old said during breakfast, "Do you like being a Mom?" 

Ouch. I apparently wasn't giving off "this is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done" vibes after the microwave and coffee incidents. 

I immediately put down my freshly brewed cup o jo (made with grounds this time), looked her straight in the eye, and honestly and whole-heartedly said, "I love being your Mommy and Abby's Mommy more than anything in the world." To which she added, "And the new baby too." 

Yes. And the new baby too. The one responsible for my list of complaints above.

Despite the fact that I have lost my body and am losing my mind I do appreciate that I get to be pregnant and be part of the miracle of life. I worked in adoption for 3 years and I know full well that being pregnant is a gift and a blessing that should never be taken for granted. I love feeling this baby girl move all day long (and all night). And I do realize this is the last 10 weeks (or less!) of pregnancy ever...in my whole life. 

Oh yeah, and let's not forget that all of this is FOR A BABY. A little girl who I get to love and discover for the rest of my life. A precious tiny miracle who will call me Mom and be born into the loving arms of a father more amazing than I could ever have imagined, and two already-smitten older sisters. 

A baby. My baby. Knit together in my womb by the Creator's masterful hands. Wow.

There, see, I knew this little rant would probably end with me feeling better.

Why I have a doula for childbirth

I met with my doula today for the first time in this pregnancy. This will be the third time I am using a doula for childbirth and I wouldn't do it any other way.

If you haven't heard the term 'doula' before, I'll start with a couple definitions...

a non-medical assistant who provides physical, emotional and informational support in prenatal care, during childbirth and during the postpartum period

a labor companion who is trained and experienced in childbirth, and provides continuous physical and emotional support during labor, birth, and the immediate postpartum period

When I first heard about doulas I thought it sounded really "new-agey" and pictured a woman with dreadlocks and crystals and drums in the delivery room with us (which probably has happened, but isn't exactly my style).  But, as I looked into it I realized that having a doula present at childbirth actually goes waaaaaaaaaay back, like all the way back (have you read The Red Tent?), and is just a fancy term for what happens around the world everyday. A doula is simply a female helper for labor and childbirth. Doulas come in a variety of "styles."

Doulas are usually (but not always) associated with natural childbirth and that is indeed why I wanted to hire a doula for my first child's birth...I wanted to do it naturally.

Now before you get the wrong idea about me let me say that I didn't have a goal to have a nautral birth because I am an earth mother, a hero, or love pain. No, no. I wanted a natural childbirth because the REALLY big needle that goes in the spine scared me way more than the pain...and because I am a control freak who can't stand the thought of not being able to feel parts of my body during labor and delivery. Those of you who get the epidural...YOU are the brave ones...more power to you :)

Here are a few more reasons I choose to have a doula...

1. I didn't like the idea that my labor and delivery nurse would be a crapshoot (whoever happened to be on duty). I was worried about not clicking with the nurse, or that the nurse would have to change shifts or check on other patients or have hospital procedures/protocol competing with her attention to me. I wanted at least one familiar face (who knew what they were doing) in that delivery room with us.

2. My dear sweet husband wasn't going to have a clue how to help me through labor, so I wanted to take the pressure off of both of us for him to do a "good job". In the end Chris always does great supporting me, partly because he is able to follow the lead and expertise of the doula. Doulas don't replace husbands, they just make them look good. He would tell you he has been as grateful to have a doula present for the births of our children as I have been.

3. Since my goal was a natural childbirth I wanted someone helping me who wasn't going to suggest an epidural too quickly, even when things got crazy. The first time, we established a "three strikes" policy together meaning if I asked for an epidural 3 times the doula would inform the nurse, but the first two times she would try to help me keep going. Turns out my kids are born so fast I didn't even have time to ask once.

I cannot overstate the emotional and mental difference it makes for me (and my husband) to have a doula with us for the birth of our children. It takes a lot of stress out of the birth and gives me great peace of mind. Doctors and nurses and hospitals are wonderful and totally essential (for me), but I have loved having an extra trained professional during labor who is there to focus totally on me.