I actually tried my darnedest to keep my daughter from getting into the princess thing. As you could probably guess, I failed...miserably (see Disneyland post for plenty of proof of this failure). While my husband and I successfully resisted buying princess paraphernalia (for a time), I did not account for the loving purchases of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. Before we knew it Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and the like, were part of our lives and all over our home.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not against dressing up, being girly, pink, sparkles etc. I love all of that. What I am against is the consumerism vortex tied to Disney princesses (undies, toothbrushes, backpacks, socks, pjs, bowls, utensils etc. etc. etc.). I am also against some of the messages the princesses are sending my daughter.
I have had three concerning interactions with Samantha thanks to Cinderella and her friends:
#1 A few months ago Sam started pulling one arm out of her dresses. When I asked her about this she said "that is how the princesses have their dresses." I looked around our house for proof, and sure enough, most of the Disney ladies have off-the-shoulder dresses (we will let Ariel slide on this one as she is a mermaid). Gasp. My 3 year old was already getting ideas about how to dress from media...and no, off-the-shoulder is not o.k. for my preschooler. I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this until much, much later in her life.#2 I told Sam she was funny one day and she said, "I don't want to be funny. Princesses aren't funny." Double gasp. Ya know, she was right again. A lot of the princesses are very serious and proper and well-mannered. Those are fine qualities, but being funny is a really great characteristic too, and I don't want her thinking that princesses can't be goofy or get a laugh. Come to think of it, I liked the feisty-friend-to-animals-in-her-work-clothes Cinderella better than the silent-waving-from-the-carriage-in-the-blue-dress Cinderella.
#3 (this is the BIG one) Sam started saying that she wasn't beautiful when she wasn't wearing a fancy dress or costume. HOLD THE TRAIN! I sat down with her and started re-working her vocabulary in an effort to un-do what surely the Disney princesses had done to my daughter. I told her clearly and seriously that she is beautiful NO MATTER WHAT she is wearing. I told her she is beautiful when she is in grubby play clothes. I told her that it is her eyes, and smile, and most importantly her heart that make her beautiful. I told her that dresses and accessories make her fancy, not beautiful.
We do our best to make sure we tell her she looks fancy when she is all dolled up, and beautiful when we are talking about her darling face and loving heart. All of this might seem over-dramatic (not that I have a propensity toward being dramatic!), but I happen to think words are really important.
If I can impart early in her impressionable little life that beauty should come from who you are and how God created you, I will do just that.
Here is where I am at with the Disney princesses: I'm not kicking them out of my house, but I am keeping their subtle messages in check.
On a side note, a friend recently recommended a book called
Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Frontlines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture
by Peggy Orenstein.
I haven't read it yet, but plan to.
I haven't read it yet, but plan to.
