I just finished Choosing To SEE, the book by Mary Beth Champan (wife to Steven Curtis Chapman), where she shares about the loss of their 5 year old daughter. Then, last week, I learned of a 4 year old little girl in our community who's life ended very suddenly.
A 5 year old girl struck and killed in the family's driveway by her brother. Unthinkable.
A 4 year old girl, trick-or-treating one night and gone 3 days later. Unthinkable.
The loss of a child...in any way...at any age. Totally unthinkable.
Both of these tragedies speak to the pain and brokenness of this world in which we live. These stories are the greatest fear of any parent. When the unthinkable happens what are we to think?
My husband didn't understand why I would want to read this book (especially when he would see me crying my way through it). I was drawn to read Mary Beth's story out of connection to her husband's music and their family's experiences with China adoption. But more than that, I was drawn to read this story out of humanity, and the chance to stare my greatest fear in the face by reading how this family faced their darkest days imaginable. I wanted to see how a mother survives a loss like the Chapman family suffered. I share the same faith as this family and I wanted to see how their faith was impacted, and how their faith impacted them.Mary Beth Chapman wrote this book to show people that, despite the unthinkable, God is still God, and God is still good. But this was not a conclusion she came to easily. In addition to gaining insight on the grief process and learning how to better support those in my life who have suffered unthinkable losses, I closed the book on Tuesday and concluded the same thing as Mary Beth...God is still God, and God is still good...even in the face of unthinkable darkness.
Two things (among many) Mary Beth Chapman wrote really stuck out to me.
"...I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less." (p. 211)
"I've now read so many books on grief that I should have a degree, but you know what? There isn't any one way to do it. My story isn't yours, and your story isn't mine. I've come to the conclusion that the only thing people who are suffering and grieving have in common, at least if you believe as I do (as a Christian), is the One who suffered for us. And the Father, who grieved for Him going to the cross, understands." (p. 255)
What would you do, how would you do, if the unthinkable happened? To whom would you cling and trust and depend if the unthinkable happened? What do you know to be true even in the face of the unthinkable?
Think about it.
