The last three weeks have included: 2 big (planned) house projects completed...1 bigger (unplanned) house project that is still going on...countless trips to Home Depot...countless bathroom-related professionals in and out of the house all day long...limited time and space to rest and nap due to the house projects...a dog getting a major surgery that has included a major recovery and a minor complication...a 2 year old with 3 teeth coming in...NINE, count them NINE, separate visits to the offices of medical professionals for family members of the small, pregnant, and 4-legged variety...BH contractions the likes of which almost sent me to the hospital one afternoon...and a mother who has not been able to piece together much more than 5-6 hours of very interrupted sleep each night.
Shhhh...do you hear someone playing the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin for me?
My point is, there has been A LOT going on. Too much. Some good things, some really challenging things, but too much for me right now with a (BIG) bun in the oven. Put a fork in me, I'm DONE.
The list above has forced me into something that I'm not great at...asking for and accepting HELP. I am a first-born, asking for help is not in my nature. Type A, first-borns like me are bred to be self-reliant, independent, helpers. Well, not now folks. As I said, pride goeth before the baby. Goeth, goeth, GONE.
I have recently had to ask, or have accepted the following...
- Can we nap/rest at your home for a few days this week?
- Can you take my 5 year old for a playdate this week? And no, I will not be reciprocating anytime soon.
- I know I am supposed to host Book Club tonight, but my kid is sick, can you host it for me instead?
- Honey, can you take a 1/2-sick-day today? And Thursday too? I need help!
- Hey neighbor, can you come watch my kids so I can go to the Dr. without my darling children?
- Grandma and Grandpa, can you come down and take the girls for a few hours every day next week?
- Can you pray for me? I mean really...regularly...specifically...pray for me?
- Sure you can stay here for an hour so I can run an errand without lugging around a 30lb 2 year old.
- Sure you can have my 0-6 month baby clothes to wash, fold, and organize.
I feel sooooo needy right now. I'm not good at being needy. But it has been REALLY good for me.
Sometimes in life we need to ask for help. A lot of times, actually. And you know what? Asking for and accepting help is good for relationships. Loved ones want to help. I love helping a friend or family member in need, and I'd be honored if they asked me for help, or took me up on my offer to help. Giving AND receiving help are a natural part of life. Giving AND receiving. That's how we make it through this life. That is how community is done.
And in case you have forgotten where "pride goeth before the fall" comes from...it wasn't Shakespeare (although he used it and is often credited for it)...it came from the Bible.Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."
Pride stinks. It prevents intimacy. It can impact sanity. It often causes us to land flat on our faces. Pride doesn't really do anyone any good. Mine is gone and it actually feels OK. I need to remember this feeling, and not just let go of my pride in "desperate" times...like at 36 weeks pregnant...but regularly and habitually...LET IT GO.
And last, but not least,
a BIG
HUGE
HUGE
THANK YOU
to so many who have offered, given, or forced me to accept help lately.
Love you!
