Great post I read about empowering little girls that you should read too

I have two girls, but even if I had boys, I think I would be passionate about girls feeling good about themselves for the right reasons. I have written a couple posts about empowering my girls, one about beauty and one about what feminism means to me.

I was initially afraid of having girls (in part) because of issues like self-esteem, weight, body-image, beauty etc. I think I was mostly afraid of the responsibility that would fall on me as their mother to teach, model, and empower where these issue are concerned, especially since I fight battles of my own in some of these areas. I have since turned a corner and now see that responsibility as one of my highest callings as their mother - and I'm up for it.

Yesterday I read a really great post at Rage Against The Minivan that makes me feel more empowered as a mother of girls. The post is called tips for preventing eating disorders in children  If you have, or care about a little girl this is definitely worth a read.

These tips are short and sweet and memorable and spell S-M-I-L-E.   

S - slow     M - movies     I - individuals     L - love     E - empower

All of this originally came from a blog at Rewrite Beautiful. 

Here is a highlight of two of my favorite points...

S – Slow 
From birth through their teenage years children are sculpting their values by modeling the behavior of their parents and care givers. If children are exposed to complaints about weight, wrinkles or the way jeans fit, they are going to become concerned over the same things. Slow down before voicing insecurity’s around children. Let your child’s caregiver know that eating disorders are at an all-time high and you would like them on your team as a positive, confident role model for your child.

L – Love
Children mimic our conversations. We show children through our conversations with others, “I LOVE Tracey’s new hair!” and “I LOVE Chloe’s new car”. Making it equally important for us to verbalize what we “LOVE” about other people’s behavior. Children need to hear, “I LOVE how Jackie loves on her animals” Or “I LOVE how Jasmine donates her dental services to kids who don’t have a dentist.” When kids hear this dialogue they will try to fit the mold of your ‘LOVING’.

CLICK HERE to read all five points from the post. 

Picture from Rewrite Beautiful Website.

SNOW!

One of our favorite annual traditions is spending President's Day weekend at Big Bear Lake with Chris' siblings.  All 10 of us are graciously hosted by their uncle at his mountain home. This is the third year we have been fortunate enough to have GREAT SNOW for our holiday weekend together. And this is the first year that Abby was old enough to play on her own in the snow. She loved it. Of course she did.

We didn't have any snow in Chicago this Christmas, and San Diego isn't known for the white stuff, so it FILLED ME UP to be in snow, 40 degree temps, and the mountains for 3 days. I think mostly it reminds me of that glorious state of CO we called home for 7 years. That, and the Scandinavian in me feels at home in brisk temperatures and winter gear.

Outside the house we enjoyed walks in the snow, sledding, and a tubing hill. Most of the group skied on Saturday, but given our stage of life and the age of our kiddos we haven't yet been able to join them for that part of the weekend. I am a bit of a ski-snob after years of skiing in Breckenridge, Keystone, and Vail, but I will admit that this year the mountain looked REALLY appealing. Maybe in 5 years.

Inside the house we spent time eating together, watching movies, drinking coffee, napping, reading, and just sitting around together and talking. Enjoying the cousins enjoying each other is always a highlight of the weekend for me. It is a weekend where we can turn off and just BE. Chris' uncle and his wife are AMAZING hosts and make us all feel incredibly welcomed and cared for.

I'm already looking forward to next year.

A memorable movie theather experience on my 33rd birthday

On Feb 3rd I turned 33. In some ways 33 sounds and feels "old" to me, I mean I am firmly "in my thirties" now. In other ways I still feel like a spring chicken and regularly have days where I don't feel old enough to be driving, let alone carting my offspring around with me.  Anyway, back to my birthday...

It was a GREAT birthday. One of the best ever actually. Birthdays have been a growing and learning experience for us as a couple. There have been some hits and some misses. Chris has come a LONG way in the last 10 years. This year he completely out-did himself. So as not to embarrass him, I'll just say that breakfast, gifts, flowers, and written words (my love language!) were involved. It was wonderful.

The grand finale for my birthday was a date. I always have the same request for my birthday date...sushi and a movie. These two things are hard to come by these days, mostly because my husband isn't a fan of sushi and, well, we have children.

So we had a lovely sushi dinner (well I did, he had Korean BBQ), complete with a view of the sun setting over the ocean, and after dinner we went to a quirky theater, which is also a historical landmark in North County San Diego.

The theater looked something like this back in 1928 when it was first opened...

I doubt that the interior has changed much since then. Seriously. 

Here is how the movie theater experience went. I'm not making any of this up.

- Arrive at theater at 6:10pm for 6:30pm movie. No one is there (except for a few confused patrons like ourselves), the box office is dark and clearly closed. But then we notice a sign that says, "Be back at 6:20pm". Ok.

- 6:25pm a borderline homeless looking man wearing a backpack, army boots, and accompanied by two small white dogs unlocks the theater door and disappears for a few minutes. The man reappears and flips on a light in the box office booth to take our payment (cash only) for the show.

- We enter the FREEZING cold theater lobby and check out the concession stand. I see hot tea on the menu. Interesting. We pay for candy, a soda, and hot tea. A rugged looking man takes a tea pot off of a hot plate and pours steaming hot water into a Styrofoam cup for me and then points to a stack of 5 boxes of herbal tea for me to choose from. Alright. I help myself to Pomegranate Pizazz, thank you.

- We enter the huge FREEZING cold theater and look for seats without large holes  No kidding.

- It's 6:40pm. It's 6:50pm. People have trickled in and at 6:55pm they decide to start the 6:30pm showing of The Descendants.

- Oh, did I forget to mention that the two small white dogs from earlier are wandering around the theater darting down various rows and startling unsuspecting movie-goers?  Yep, they sure were.

- We FREEZE while watching the movie, but at least I had my hot tea and the film took place in Hawaii,  which both helped...a little bit.

It was a hilarious and very entertaining movie experience thanks to the theater, and it made my 33rd birthday even more memorable.

I love that in this time and place dominated by money, the clock, and the allure of all things new, shiny, and beautiful, places like La Paloma Theater still exist. It was rustic and grungy and homemade and TOTALLY charming. We'll be back to this theater for sure, maybe when I'm 34...and we'll dress warmer.

When life is hard

Life is really hard sometimes.

Over the past few months some REALLY terrible and difficult things have happened to dear friends.

I'm honestly not sure what is worse, painful events in my own life, or painful events in the lives of people I love.

When terrible things happen in life I have come to learn through experience and observation that there are three simple things we can do. Three simple things that can help both the receiver and the giver.

PRAY. Is there a greater gift you can give another person than prayer? And I'm not talking about just saying that you will pray. I'm talking about really praying...regularly...or on the spot...or over the phone...or even through a text or email. This might seem uncomfortable at first, but I have learned through a friend who is in the habit of praying for me at the end of our phone conversations that it is such a gift to be prayed for right then and there. I mean what better thing can you do for someone than implore the God of the universe on their behalf??? Yes, please. Anyone can do that for me, anytime.

GO THERE.  I mean physically go there. Sometimes even if they don't want you to go there. Whether it is the hospital, or their home, go there. If you aren't super close to the person just drop something at their door. Or if you live far away, mail something.  It is very meaningful to know someone made the effort to come to your home to reach out in support. You can just insist on a quick hug. You don't have to stay long, and there are never "the right words to say" so no point in fretting about that. It is about presence. It is about physically being with someone who is hurting and hurting with them. One of the most meaningful things that has ever happened in my life was when a wonderful friend had heard the news of us losing our baby boy 18 weeks into pregnancy and she showed up at our door, unannounced, with a gallon of milk, ingredients for tacos, tears, and a hug. I have no idea what she said other than "I'm so sorry." I know I didn't want to see anyone at the time, but I was SO GLAD she took the risk and came to see me. I will never forget that.

FOOD. Bring food. Milk, cookies, a full grocery bag, a prepared dinner, a loaf of bread, a gift card for a restaurant, WINE!...whatever. It's simple really, but it is a way to meet a physical need. It helps someone in a fog of grief or sadness or depression to not have to think about one more thing and save their energy.

These three things have made a big difference in my life during a hard time and so I can only imagine that they would make a difference in some way for others. Challenges and sadness will just keep happening in this life, so it is good to get into practice of how to support friends and family when those times come.

I don't want to end this post without some hope so I will share a paraphrase my (therapist) husband often sites from Kahlil Gibran about sadness and joy... "to the extent you truly experience sorrow, you will experience joy." Follow that? If I have known deep sorrow my joy will be bigger and deeper. I think this is true. I know that because of my pregnancy losses I look at my girls differently, more thankfully.

In my greatest time of grief my dad shared with me how C.S. Lewis relates sorrow and joy: "the pain now is part of the happiness then." In his book A Grief Observed Lewis reminds us that the pain we confront while living on earth, in what Lewis calls the shadowlands, will - one day - serve to intensify the joy of a shadowless heaven (my dad's quote).      

Laura Story has another philosophy on pain in her amazing song Blessings..."What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst than this world can satisfy."

These lofty concepts are things we can come to realize after much time and reflection and I believe really do address the problem of pain and speak of hope and redemption. But in the moment, in the thick of it, we need prayer, presence, and food. We need love and support from people who care about us, or even from strangers.

Family weekend

This weekend was a weekend of family. Our CA family: 2 grandparents, 3 siblings + 3 spouses, 4 grandkids.

We all live in the same state, but the busyness of life and the daunting LA traffic make it so that getting together still takes effort. We all made the effort this weekend and carved out time to spend a couple days together. One night all 12 of us even slept under the same roof, something we haven't done for a very long time, maybe ever.

Due to the logistics of taking care of a 21 month old (one with a fever no less), and wanting to give Chris as much beach and water time as possible with everyone, I experienced a lot of this weekend from a bit of a distance.

The advantage of seeing things from a distance, or through a camera lens, is that you get to observe and absorb a little more.

I enjoyed watching and just taking in...

Hospitality
2 spectacular sunsets
Couples taking time for walks
Siblings remembering childhood
Grandparents enjoying grandchildren
Cousins loving every second together
Cooking and cleaning with and for each other
A family enjoying their happiest place on earth (the beach!)
A Sunday morning hike appreciating God's creation and reflecting on His greatest gift
A living room scattered with toys representing play and the messy creativity of childhood
My husband sharing his love for surfing with his daughter, his nephew, and his brother-in-law

It's the little quiet moments that make a family a family.

By far my favorite shot of the weekend.

Because I need to document this stuff...

Today while doing the dishes I came clean to Samantha and said, 

"Sometimes I get really tired of doing the dishes."

To which she very quickly responded,

"Yeah, I'll bet you wish you were a Daddy."

Ouch.

Then, at the end of the night,
Sam and I went next door to our favorite neighbor's house to borrow something,

and when we came back we were met by 

THIS GIRL...

Apparently this ensemble was totally her idea.

Never a dull moment around here.

And just for the record, please note Daddy in the background doing the dishes.

Sunset quinoa salad recipe

You know you "live in the West" if you are familiar with Sunset magazine.

Sunset is similar to Midwest Living, or Southern Living...only more organic, more green, more ocean/mountains, and more cool. Don't those words just sum up "the west"? It is a great magazine that covers gardening, houses, food, and travel.

While I definitely established in my last post that I am not gifted in the cooking arena, I recently tried out a GREAT salad recipe from Sunset and I think it is worth sharing.

This is a totally yummy, totally California, totally easy, totally healthy salad that I made for a dinner with neighbors last weekend. I will be making it again.

Quinoa Salad with Chicken, avocado, and oranges

• 1 1/4 cups quinoa
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 3 teaspoons minced garlic, divided
• Zest of 1 lime
• 2 teaspoons plus 3 tbsp. olive oil
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt, divided
• pepper, divided
• 1 pound boned, skinned chicken thighs
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 4 large oranges, peeled and segmented
• 2 ripe avocados, peeled and cubed

1. 1. Cook quinoa according to package directions and fluff with a fork. Transfer to a large bowl and let cool.
2. 2. Preheat broiler with a rack set 4 to 6 in. from heat. In a large bowl, stir together chili powder, 2 tsp. garlic, the lime zest, 2 tsp. oil, and 1/2 tsp. each salt and pepper. Add chicken and toss to coat. Put chicken on a baking sheet and broil, turning once, until browned and cooked through, about 12 minutes total. Let cool slightly, then slice and add to reserved quinoa.
3. 3. Add remaining ingredients to quinoa and chicken; toss to coat.

I used chicken breasts and just baked them. Click here for nutritional info, but trust me, it's healthy.

 We LOVE Sunset magazine.
It makes a great gift for anyone you know who "lives in the West."

Dream Dinners...yes, yes they are

This post is dedicated to my mother, who remains skeptical.

There are only a few inventions I would put in the "changed my life" category.  The hair diffuser, coffee, and the dishwasher come to mind.  And there is also Dream Dinners. Never heard of it?  Allow me to explain.

I was first introduced to Dream Dinners through a fundraiser for MOPS when I was 8 months pregnant with my second daughter. I had a blast assembling the meal with friends, cooking the food at home was a breeze, and the dinner was excellent. We quickly and easily decided to sign up for a months worth of meals so that we would have good and relatively simple dinner options once Abby was born.

Well, that was almost 2 YEARS ago, and we are still going strong with Dream Dinners. 12 meals a month, without fail, and we are happy happy customers.

How does it work?

- Look at the menu for the month and choose 36 servings worth of meals. For us, that usually comes out to 12 3-serving meals.
- Sign up for a day to assemble or pick up my meals. Our Dream Dinners waives the assembly fee for new moms for the first couple months, and since I have continued to order each month since Abby was born they have continued to waive that fee. I think it would be fun to assemble the ingredients myself, but this is way easier.
- Show up, pick up, and pay (usually around $170 for 12+ meals a month).
- Stock my freezer.
- Pull out 3 meals a week to thaw in the refrigerator.
- Follow no-brainer cooking instructions and make a dinner.
- When needed, add my own veggies and sides to complete the meal.
- Smile and serve.

Who does it work for? 
It works for individuals like me, who...
- Enjoy cooking for entertaining purposes, but don't dig it for weeknight dinner purposes.
- Married someone who really appreciates good food, and variety.
- Are not organized enough to do good meal planning.
- Are not smart or frugal grocery-shoppers.
- Have spouses who don't get home from work until later (6:45pm in my case) and therefore are on their own to make dinner at the end of the day with small children running rampant through the house. Witching hour anyone?
- Have NO ENERGY LEFT by 5pm when you are supposed to be making dinner.

Who might it not work for?
- Vegetarians, or others with restrictive food issues or allergies. Dream Dinners meals are mostly meat-centered (we almost always go with the chicken, but there are plenty of pork, fish, and red-meat options too).
- People who love to cook and are good at planning and grocery shopping and perhaps have spouses that come home from work at 4pm. Must be nice to be you.

Why I think it's great..or, my sales pitch...
- I am able to provide my family with a variety of great dinners that are WAY better than what I would come up with myself. Former monthly menu: something Italian, something Mexican, something involving chicken/rice/vegetables. Repeat.
- At 5:30pm after a long day with two small children I am all too happy to follow simple instructions to make these meals.
- It is healthy. The nutrition facts are online so you can see for yourself. I have successfully lost weight eating Dream Dinners meals.
- It saves us money. I am totally sure of it. Not only do I trust my friend who is a numbers/money person and "did the math" to show why Dream Dinners is economical for her family, but now we hardly ever grab take-out which also helps the budget.
- I am at the grocery store so much less. Not only do less trips to the grocery store mean a happier me (are there people out there who actually enjoy grocery shopping?), but when I go to the store I am only going for the basics (breakfast, lunch, produce). And less time in the grocery store = less money spent in the grocery store and less junk food purchased.
- A lot of the meals are big enough for leftovers or lunches, which means we are actually getting more than 12 meals a month. Again, this saves money, and time.
- Every once in awhile I order a 6-serving meal that I can use with company and makes entertaining a breeze.
- My kids like a lot of the food.
- Saves time. Saves cleaning. Saves sanity...and really, can you put a price on that?

Who else thinks it's great...
Oprah, Bob Greene, Nate Berkus, Dr. Phil. Ever heard of them?

Sample of my January meal menu...
- Roast beef stuffed french bread
- Butternut ravioli with carmelized onions
- Cod almondine with lemon cream sauce
- Savory grilled chicken with sesame honey butter
- Kentucky pork chops
- Chicken enchiladas
- Chicken with lemon and artichoke sauce
- Creamy tortellini with bacon
- Pub style chicken with mashed potatoes
- Texmex BBQ turkey wraps

There is honestly not a week that goes by that Chris and I don't say something resembling, "Dream Dinners is the best," or "What would we do without Dream Dinners?," or "Why would we ever stop doing this?".

Click here and see if there is a Dream Dinners in your area. Give it a try for a month or two and see what you think.

Happy cooking everyone.

Happy Birthday to this guy

Amazing husband, 

phenomenal father, 

best friend, 

partner for life, 

support, 

strength, 

entertainment 

...and so much more.

This is the 12th birthday I have been blessed to celebrate this guy as his gal. Lucky, lucky me.

I had a helper this year in getting his birthday breakfast all ready.

She was pretty excited for Daddy's birthday and embraced her roll as table-setter with great passion.

I was pretty excited that VGs took care of part of breakfast and the birthday cupcakes this year.

And I'm also pretty excited to take the birthday boy out to dinner tonight.

It's good we all have a day that is all about us. 

People's lives are worth celebrating.

Especially my husband's life!

First post of the year

Not that anyone has been waiting with bated breath for me to post in 2012, but the reasons for not posting anything yet this year are many, including but not limited to...

- I am just now recovering from Christmas travel to Chicago and staying up past midnight with friends on New Year's Eve. Old, I'm seriously getting old.
- Since New Year's Day nothing has happened worth writing about. Nothing. Thank goodness.
- We just recently took down our Christmas decorations. How could I blog when I should be taking down the tree?
- I'm T-I-R-E-D, and frankly don't have many thoughts running through my head lately.
- MOPS is starting on Friday and any energy I do have has been directed toward preparing for our first meeting of the new semester.

But since I don't want to get totally out of the habit of writing, and since it is that time of year again, I will share a rough version of my New Year's Resolutions. I could write about 20 New Year's resolutions every year (I'm that kind of person), but I am going to limit myself to 5 for now.

January 5th sunset

Embrace the ocean and beach more. What's the name of this blog again? Be All There...wherever you are..."live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." Well, I believe moving to CA was God's plan for our family and I want to embrace the beach more...'cause that's where I am. I also want to grow in my love for the thing that my husband loves so much. I have brought the girls to the beach twice so far this year to watch the sunset and play in the sand (which always turns into playing in the water). It was a lot of work, not relaxing, messy, and way more tiring than putting on a TV show for them at 5pm, but MAN OH MAN watching the sun set over the ocean is a spiritual experience that trumps all of the aforementioned inconveniences. Not to mention that watching my kids at the beach is an extremely joyful activity for me. The beach and the ocean are spectacular works of art that I am incredibly blessed to have access to, and I want to get to know them both more. No Chris, this does not mean I am ready for surfing lessons quite yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Read more. I had good momentum with reading last year and want to keep it up. Right now I am reading Moloka'i for book club and I want to read One Thousand Gifts for myself.

Find a workout/exercise I love...and do it often. It might be yoga or pilates...or it could just be walking...I know it isn't running...and I don't even have to try Zumba to tell you that's NOT it. I want to keep experimenting and find a way to move and be healthy that I truly enjoy. I want to workout because it makes me feel good, not because I feel like I should do it or because it burns a lot of calories.

January 9th sunset

Keep dating. We managed to do 2 dates a month in 2011 and I think that is reasonable to strive for again this year. 2012 is the year we celebrate 10 years of marriage, after all.

Be more peaceful.  On the outside I may seem pretty peaceful to those who know me, but inside things are usually going a million miles an hour. I want to slow down. I want to be more present with my kids, more OK with a messy house, more at rest with myself and my daily circumstances. I really truly do want to be all there...wherever I am. I want to pray more and read the Bible more. I want to rest more on the inside and the outside. I want to have better margins in my life. Margins could be a resolution in and of itself, but I will lump it in here with being more peaceful. I want peace even in this crazy exhausting toddler/preschool stage of life.

2012 has a nice ring to it and I am really excited for this year.